WIVES and Girls, READ this and laugh
So THIS is why you all complain about being exhausted from your marraiges. http://writeandedit.wordpress.com/2010/02/04/my-response-to-the-good-wifes-guide/
Seriously, I have met a few men who really think this is going to happen. One of my friends marries these guys, one after another and then wonders why she isn’t good enough.
Good Lord. I hurt from laughing
Nipples
Why can men show theirs but women can’t? – at least not without being arrested. Now even Boulder Colorado has gotten into the action: “The new ordinance would apply to anyone older than 10 who exposes any portion of his or her private parts, including the nipple of a female breast.”
Seriously?!? Doesn’t this violate some form of Equal Rights policy somewhere? I spent the summer taking pictures of topless men. Should i drag out those photos . . . no, this is disturbing enough
Man boobs are so much more offensive than woman breasts. And, what is soo offensive about a woman’s nipple anyway?
Singing for food
Now would be a good time to turn off your volume! 
I said i would sing in public for anyone who would donate food before Friday to our SOUPer Bowl food drive at work.
Annette said she’d donate if i sang and threw Skittles. I actually did do this at work today but only taed the aftermath and not the song. *sigh
“Average” people appriciate Mobile Web
This morning Robert Scoble @scobleizer (sorry, I stalk him because his dorkyness is endearing) tweeted that he doesn’t think “average” people understand the importance of the mobile web or having the internet on your phone. I beg to differ. Phone + Web is what makes the ” Life of Sonya” so entertaining!
Here is a sample of my lunch hour:
I decide I don’t want to make lunch so I use Google Maps to guide me to Costco so I can graze the free samples. While there I check in at www.foursquare.com and see who else is in the store with me! Someone has a “shout out” that the steaks are on sale today so I walk over and remember that I can’t cook so I think. . . “I wonder if I can get into The Derby for dinner”.
I could search it - *Open the Google Search App, hold down the GREEN power button on my phone and say my search query out loud** or Open Google/BING apps and do a regular search ** or open BEYOND411 SEARCH app and look for Costco** then select the phone number which shows as a link for the restaurant and call, or I can open the web browser to search it, go to the web site, click on the www.OPENTABLE.com link and make my reservation as I stroll past the Costco Coffin display.
Oh, coffin . . funeral, did I send Jen flowers for her grandma’s passing? I know she sent me an e-mail with the memorial details so I open up the e-mail application and search for it. Which e-mail address does she have for me (Seriously, I have like 12 of them. You know where you rank in importance to me based on the email address I give out to you). Nope, not on one of my directly synced emails so I use the GMAIL app and search for the notice. Jen’s email has a link in it to the charity I am supposed to donate to in leu of flowers so I Pay-Pal $40.
This makes me think about how much money I will have when I am old enough to die (I plan on being rediculiously old) so I open the Stanley Morgan app and check on my Old Person Retirement acct balance. Yep, I am still poor in the future. *sigh*
The FUTURE . . aren’t I supposed to be at a party tomorrow? I open the EVITE app and check my RSVP status and then text my best friend to se if she is also going to be there. When I see the Skittles I decide I want to make a quick video for her of me throwing Skittles at strangers while yelling “Taste the rainbow – taste it”. I video the bad behavior, post it on YouTube and alert my Facebook status that I have uploaded a video so everyone can see that I have no social finesse.
With my phone all hot in my hand, I remember @scobelizer saying that the average person doesn’t get why the internet on your phone is so important. Is he serious? I just have to Tweet back that he is overlooking people like me and then I decide to write this blog in responce. I can e-mail the submission to WordPress or open the WordPress app and type away
I Map, Search, RSVP, Plan, Collaborate, Find people places and things, Blog , Share videos and basically reach out to everyone I know from my phone – while all alone – in an hour. Throughout all of this I have not used my cell phone to make a call.
I have a BlackBerry and before that a Motorola Q and before that a basic black and white flip phone and on all of them – I have had internet access. Thank you VERIZON Wireless for giving me access to the rest of the world! I’ve been on cruise ships surreptitiously Googleing the name of the first team to win the World Series (Boston Americans defeated the Pittsburgh Pirates 5-3). Only the waiter knew I wasn’t a genius because he could see my phone under the table.
Basically, the joke is that I don’t have a brain in my head because I have goodle and BING in my pocket!
