We all need support

May 25, 2010 at 12:52 PM | Posted in motivation, support, weight loss | Leave a comment

Whatever your goal is – if you try to reach it alone – it may start to feel almost impossible.

Thank you Kathy for meeting me at The El Monte Airport fo a sharp jab of motivation.  I was teetering on the brink of giving up.

I went home and bought the PayLess version of the Stride and Fit shoes to improve my walking experience. I kinda like them because they are bouncy and I walk faster. However I kinda hate them because once I take them off my left foot feels like I am stepping on knives again. I am going to keep at it and assume I will build a tolerance to the pain.

I had forgotten how wonderful you are and it was fun to torture Chico and text with Christina.

small step #1. Funky new shoes

small step #2. Equal in my coffee this morning.

——————- and my friend Jessica gave me unexpected motivation when she asked if I would sing at her wedding. It’s a Hawaiian version of a song but I will NOT be wearing a coco-nut bra. However, by the time the wedding comes around I want to know I would have looked just fine in one! 🙂

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Slide show of Sonya’s Size changes

May 12, 2010 at 8:09 PM | Posted in motivation, pictures, weight loss | 2 Comments
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Coffee

April 29, 2010 at 8:38 AM | Posted in food, motivation, weight loss | Leave a comment
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Every day I look a little more like Mimi from the Drew Carey Show, either that or Bozo called and wants his hair and make-up back… but guess what!?!?! I am keeping them. 🙂

So, every day I have to pick my attitude, sometimes I need coffee to achieve the desired results. I am soo glad I picked up the $2 off my table this morning because I left my lunch and lunch money at home!

Smile

January 12, 2010 at 8:40 AM | Posted in motivation | Leave a comment

I always do when I see this

This one’s for Cristina

December 1, 2009 at 11:56 PM | Posted in bariatric surgery, body, motivation, support | Leave a comment
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Hey girl, i read your Facebook update that you are so sick of vitamins and protein drinks and all the upkeep it takes post surgery.

Yep, I know, I feel you. Pills and pills and pills, little green ones, freaky golden fish eye pills, puke tasting under the tounge pills and protein drinks.

Compare that to your thighs and butt dripping over the edge of your chair, getting up from a chair and bringing it up with you because you are wedged in, not being able to zip your skirt because your arms and hands couldnt touch behind your back, your entire thigh from knee to crotch being smooshed together when you stand sit or walk because your legs were so fat, the day you discovered toilet paper ropes because some parts of you are no longer  accessable, moon face, not being able to put your chin on your chest because your neck was in the way, and heart throbs when you climbed a staircase.

See, pills and protein – not so bad!

38 days until Christmas

November 17, 2009 at 8:04 AM | Posted in friends, motivation, personal stupidness, Sonya, support | Leave a comment
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What can you do in 38 days?

I don’t do New Years Resolutions, I like my goals measurable, observable, and achievable. 38 days seems like a random and reasonable amount of time to do some stuff I’ve neglected (forget the holiday shopping, seriously: I refused to be stressed. Nobody is getting presents from me, I’m inflicting “dates with Sonya” on you all. Memories don’t have to be dusted!)

Stuff to do:

lose 5 pounds in 38 days

Sign up for a language class at Valley with Jax (she needs it for college)

See if Valley has an interesting PE class

(Wonder if the three million Valley strip clubs open part time for that strip pole aerobics. – nope, let’s not make a point of finding out, that’s just gross)

Clean my closet

Support group get together – I’m thinking the first week of December. I’m missing you all

Remove cleaning from my list! No, not gonna be a quitter…

Pedicure! This has been on my list for MONTHS, who wants to come with?! Michelle Settergren, Julie Parks??!? This is your present- sorry the surprised is ruined: guess what you’re doing with me for the holidays

Hmmm, Bradshaw, you’re all about cleaning, I wonder if you and Gil want a play date with my closet?!

Collect socks for the homeless. 200 sounds like a good number. So this is the deal, don’t buy me a present- give me new socks to give away! *see what a good friend I am, now you can do your holiday shopping at the 99 cent store for me!

Find new people to stalk for fun. Microsoft has flat out refused to block off Figueroa and parade all the cute nerds down the street :grumble: , maybe they are sending me a message?   How is it possible that PDC is in town and I wont get to see a single cute nerdy boy? It’s hard to pick a fascinating population. Rocket Scientists-check. Computer Nerds-check. It’s LA, so I don’t want anyone too obvious, celebrities are way too easy, and rock music is too loud… Give me ideas! 🙂

Oh no! Seriously?! Is that all I haven’t done this year?

Wow, I rock.

comments

July 2, 2009 at 12:12 PM | Posted in motivation | 1 Comment
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hi peeps! I get alot of Facebook notes and emails and trext messages . .Jjust so you know . . I don’t mind you commenting here. 🙂

Why did I gain all that weight?

June 29, 2009 at 7:40 PM | Posted in motivation, personal care, personal stupidness, side effects, Sonya | Leave a comment
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Hmm, interesting question. I did it for the reason I have done most of the stupid things in my life. I gained weight because of a boy.
Now, before you go thinking I hooked myself up with a “feeder“, I will tell you all something personal.

If you really don’t want to know what goes on in the deep dark, personal bits of me – you should probably stop reading right about NOW. Okay, you have been warned.
I don’t really advertise it, and it doesn’t really matter in my everyday life – but I am one of the 1 in 4 women you know who was um, sexually violated and suffered abuse at the hands of a man. I was 21 years old, had gone to a RAVE and was assaulted by the security guard working at the closed motel where the party was.
I am really not much of a party girl – now or then – I was there because Kevin’s date showed up and I had nothing to do but listen to a broken television that got channel 5 on audio but no picture.
Anyway, this guard was a young man I knew – and personally, I thought he was a little “special needs” before then because I never spent time with him. I liked his mother and his sisters well enough . . . but I was not interested in him. But, I have digressed. Suffice it to say, he gave me a room to sleep out the party in – as I was not into the scene unfolding there. He woke me up in the morning and told me I could not go home until he ****’d me. A small struggle ensued – obviously I lost.
I tried to act like that didn’t matter and like it was normal and to that end I tried dating him , except that I was always puking when he got near me. I tried telling him to leave me alone, but he would find ways into my apartment. He and I were part of the same circle of friends, I didn’t have the words for what had happened and it was years before I did. What eventually helped me the most was a letter that he, of all people, wrote to me where he said “I can see how you might call what I did rape. I did not mean to hurt you.”
Eventually, I went to see a doctor because I couldn’t sleep, I felt like crap and I was utterly depressed. I did not know I had missed my cycle because I had spotted, and the doctor told me I “had stress”. Can I just tell you that “That Stress” is a 15 year old high school student now? -( But wait, it gets better. This happened 2.5 weeks after the last time I slept with a boy I really loved. By the time I found out that I was pregnant… he was already in love with someone else and this was before the OJ trial. Not knowing who her father is has saved my life and sanity at various points in the last decade and a half. )I have been raising her own my own with help (and fussing) from my family. She is awesome and I adore her.
What I did not adore was this security guard. He was, however repulsed by his mother’s physical appearance – she weighted over 300 pounds. I decided that if I could get to that size, he would leave me alone.
It did. But I can’t live like that. I went to years of therapy and started dating and now I am taking my body back. It feels good.
What made me think of this today? Well, his wife sent me a Facebook request and was obnoxious when I explained that , while I am sure she is a lovely person., I don’t want my friends, family, and personal life available for this man to look at because I won’t feel safe.
Anyway, that was on my mind today . . . and now I have shared instead of eating a Hershey Bar.

cover your eyes! my body

May 28, 2009 at 2:14 PM | Posted in body, body parts. mouth, motivation, pictures, size changes, weight loss, work out | Leave a comment
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This is my body – still all rolly, pudgy and fat . . .but more than 115 pounds lighter than a year ago. I am walking MILES and MILES every day and looking forward to being able to swim (as soon as I find my suit).

SUCCESS

April 14, 2009 at 3:14 PM | Posted in bariatric surgery, motivation | 1 Comment

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